


The Devil Went Down To NCIS

by GailCregg



Category: NCIS
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-08 16:32:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16432970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GailCregg/pseuds/GailCregg
Summary: Tony meets Buddha, some angels, some demons and even the Devil.





	The Devil Went Down To NCIS

**Author's Note:**

> Follow up to The Big Man Upstairs although it's not necessary to read that to understand this.

Ahhh. This is nice. Tony thinks as he leans back in his deck chair enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. He gives an appreciative grin as Kate and Ziva dressed in the merest slips of bikinis walk past at the water's edge holding hands. Further along the beach Kelly Gibbs and Maddi Tyler are decorating a sand castle watched with a tolerant teenage smile by Emily Fornell. He tries to snooze but there is a glare that is penetrating through the hat he's pulled over his eyes and even the sun glasses he's wearing.

He stares down the beach to where something is glowing in the distance. What is that? I'm a very special investigator so I should go check it out. He stands and walks towards the object. The sand getting warmer between his toes and the light getting brighter the closer he gets.

Eventually he finds himself at the foot of great golden statue. A laughing Buddha he thinks. How cool is that? Clouds drift across the sun helping him to see as he begins to examine the statue. He quickly realizes it's slightly different from those he's seen before. It's shiny gold and has a big belly but it also has a hat, glasses and a bow tie. This is getting a little weird...

"What you seek is within" a voice booms out.  
"Ducky is that you?"  
"What you seek is within dear boy."  
"Dr Mallard?"  
"What you seek is within."  
"Okay. Good talk."

Tony turns and starts to walk away but suddenly the sun returns and it becomes a lot hotter than before. A gusty wind swirls sand in front of his face. DiNozzo staggers and falls backwards onto the ground. "Hot, so hot" he mutters through parched lips.

He feels something cool pressed against his face and the heat of the sun seems to abate. He starts to rise but is gently pushed down.  
"It's alright Tony. I'm here. I mean we're here." The voice is vaguely familiar.  
DiNozzo opens his eyes to find he is lying on his back as an indistinct shape leans over him. It is too difficult to make out what the shape is as it's back lit by the skylight in the ceiling.  
"You're safe here. You're home. You're at NCIS."  
He blinks a couple of times and without knowing quite how is now sitting at his desk in the squad room. Leaning against McGee's desk is Abby dressed in her Marilyn Monroe outfit with the addition of white feathery wings and white platform shoes.  
"Abby? Is it Halloween already? He shakes his head in confusion.  
"No, silly. I'm your guardian angel. Isn't this outfit great?" She steps away from the desk and gives a little twirl.  
"My guardian angel."  
"Yeah. Actually with everything that happens to you God thought you needed two so Tim's your other one." She gestures to where an extremely unhappy looking McGee is seated at his desk. He is wearing a white suit and the obligatory wings.  
Tony chuckles. "What's wrong McAngel?"  
"I don't mind having your six."  
"You always have."  
"But look at this outfit. How am I going to keep it clean?"  
"Stop whining Timmy. We have much bigger problems than that. We have to keep Tony safe from all his enemies and you know how long that list is."  
"Thanks for reminding me." Tony remarks sullenly.  
Abby frowns. "I'd apologize but you know what that's a sign of. How about we have some fun?"  
Tony grins. "I like the sound of that."  
"Then let's meet some of your demons."  
"Meet my demons...? Abby what are you...?"  
There's a puff of smoke and Abby and Tim disappear. "What's going on? I thought you were meant to protect me." There's another puff of smoke.

"Relax DiNozzo. You're just meeting us. Safe space and all that pc nonsense. We can't hurt you and you can't hurt us. Don't people say you should know your demons?"  
The demon seated opposite is dressed traditionally in red and wearing an eye patch.  
"That they do Kort. That they do but I really don't need to know you any better than I already do."  
"This was not my idea."  
"Bye bye." Tony waves and Kort disappears.

Seated at the desk in an almost obscenely tight devil outfit and polishing her long red fingernails with an evil smile is a woman.  
"Ziva? How are you one of my demons?"  
"You're the very special agent; you work it out." She tosses her hair and throws back her head, cackling. He can see her teeth dripping with blood.

The room darkens as the lights flicker and thunder can be heard as rain lashes the windows. Still Ziva continues to laugh. Tony shivers. The squad room is plunged into total darkness as a howling wind stirs papers left on desks. Ziva stops laughing and looks around as if frightened.

"I must go." She starts to walk to the elevator.  
"What? I mean wait...Ziv..."  
There is another roll of thunder and all the lights come back on.  
This time there is another demon seated at the desk. This one is wearing a red sparkly masquerade mask, a red t-shirt with a red polo top over it and red skinny jeans. He is glaring.

DiNozzo nods. "Well that is actually not surprising." He grins. "Gibbs as a demon makes perfect sense to me."  
"DiNozzo." Gibbs strides across the room and he raises his hand for a head slap.  
"Oh no you don't." Abby's voice rings out across the squad room.  
They both look up to where she is standing outside MTAC.  
Gibbs looks almost embarrassed as he slinks back to the desk. "Sorry. Gotta follow the rules. Though I would appreciate it if you addressed me by my correct title."  
"Your title?"  
"Yes. I'm not just a demon."  
"You're not?"  
"No."  
"Then who are you?"  
"I am..." There is the sound of a drum roll. "I am the Devil."

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Tony DiNozzo sits up in bed and reaches for his phone to silence the alarm. It is time to get down to NCIS.


End file.
